Reagan's+Not-So+Laser+Awesome+Poetry+Stuff

 

(SPOOF HERO) "The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth." -  Jean Cocteau

Haha, you can't read me!!! (well, you couldn't when it was in symbol font...)

My Calligram:




My thoughts muddle together once more And I can’t say I mind Sitting with my grandchildren upon the shore My thoughts muddle together once more

Another helper is at my door “Oh, dears, you’re all too kind!” My thoughts muddle together once more And I can’t say I mind

Ballad Thing [Kinda/Sorta/Somewhat/Not Really to tune of Ordinary Day by Vanessa Carlton; This is the moon talding to the sun]

The Man of the Moon/ Ecliptic Demise

I find myself stuck in the rays And I, I have not a choice But I’ve dealt millennia far And now I’m finding my voice

Stuck in orbit you set for me Trying to stir up dissent And though my efforts were doubled Orbit was nowhere near bent

Struck by mad, brilliant ideas Though one after one they fail I asked for help from my loyal tides “Go quick and cover your trail

The coasts bubbled and shimmered and Then, suddenly they vanished That Sun had caught on to my plan Now he claims I am banished

I guess I never realized that The Sun has resources too And now the humans believe I’m Behind their sickness; I’m through-

Those morons, try and remove me They realized I can’t fight But my weapon’s far better For I can hide and take flight

How do they think this will turn out? They can’t have an inkling The balance! What’s the Sun thinking?! . . . What was __I__ thinking?

Four hundred eighty seconds pass And I sigh, ready to face What’s coming to me; I’m sorry But all that’s there’s empty space

I wish I never go so mad I really had no reason Even the humans understand Why it’s great to have the Sun

Now all the stars want to get us Because their brother is dead The blame lies partly in himself But mostly in the fight I lead

Random Poems to fill up space!!!

1 A smile; you promise Lonely sigh, more emty words Fingers crossed again I shake my head, sick of lies You can't seem to uderstand

2 I'm running for the light But happily trapped within the dark It's almost in my sight I'm running for the light

While wishing I would'nt with all my might They force me to want to make my mark I'm running for the light But happily trapped within the dark

3 To Whom It May Concern: You parked your car outside my home And it refuses to stop screaming The garbage disposal you just replaced Is continually scheming Your washing machine has stolen my socks And absconded with all the alarm clocks And now I cannot unlock the padlocks To Whom It May Concern

To Whom It May Concern: Your paint has yet to wash out of the sky And now I must watch a lime green sunrise Your pool decidedly skipped over the fence And now the bathtub is in disguise The television has turned off At remotes I now scoff Though it usually turns into a cough To Whom It May Concern

To Whom It May Concern: Your craziness has infected me Now I can’t even make my tea Without the pot jumping out of its spot And whistling out of key And if you are not whom it may concern Then about my life you did learn Next week I’ll tell more – please return! To Whom It May Concern

__ Scene 5: The Deus Ex Machina __ · // (VAMPIRA, MINNIE and ELAINE are inside of VAMPIRA’s flying craft. ELAINE is stuck in shocked horror as VAMPIRA’s finger hovers over the button. They stand like this for several moments, VAMPIRA smirking at ELAINE, ELAINE staring at the finger, MINNIE, in the middle, glancing back and forth between the two. They do this for a moment. Then another moment. Suddenly, a flying object (small, like a pencil or something) hits VAMPIRA and shocks all three. All three turn to see where it came from… The audience) // · **Audience:** Get moving already! <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· // (The three blink at each other, and then at the audience. They suddenly remember what they were doing.) // <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Elaine:** Vampira, don’t do it! Think of all the poor. New Jerseites. New Jersey’s. Jersey Girls. New Jersey People. Wait a second… there //is// a word for them… <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Vampira:** New Jerseyans? <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Elaine:** That’s it! New Jerseyans. Vampira, think of all the New Jerseyans you’ll dislocate! Is your tan really more important than all of them? <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Vampira:** Uh, yes? That’s why we’re doing this. <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Minnie:** Duh. <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Elaine:** //(aghast)// But- but- but that was supposed to make you turn good! Get rid of your evil ways, turn you a new leaf. The book said it would work. //(ELAINE pulls a book out of nowhere. Its title reads: The Idiot’s Guide to Turning Villains Good. VAMPIRA and MINNIE stare.)// See? It’s right here, on page fifty-se- <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Vampira:** //(annoyed)// Okay, forget your book! <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Elaine:** But – <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Vampira:** NO! <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">·  **Minnie:** //(to Elaine)// Ooo… <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· // (VAMPIRA, who has since moved her hand, places it once more over the button, but not quite as dramatically as before. Moments (or seconds, or whatever) before VAMPIRA presses the button, a red bus comes from stage left and heads for VAMPIRA. Everyone begins to move/talk in cheesy ‘slow motion’) // <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Minnie:** Watch out! <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· // (MINNIE jumps and pushes VAMPIRA out of the bus’s path. She gets hit by the bus, and then suddenly everyone goes back to normal speed.) // <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Elaine:** //(staring at where bus exited)// What in the world was that bus doing up here? We’re on a spacecraft, aren’t we? //(turns to look at VAMPIRA for conformation, but notices MINNIE.)// Oh, no. That’s not supposed to happen – this play is rated G! (The managers aren’t going to be too happy with us…) <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Vampira:** Who cares? She was just a minion. It’s not like she was or intelligent or important to the plot. //(walks over to destroy-New-Jersey-button-thing, pushing MINNIE out of her way with her foot.//) <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Elaine:** You shouldn’t say stuff like that – bad stuff will happen. <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Vampira:** //(annoyed)// That’s enough of your improvisation; can we get on with the plot? <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· // (VAMPIRA is about to slap her hand down on the button for the third time, but suddenly a blue bus comes from stage right and runs over VAMPIRA.) // <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Elaine:** ANOTHER bus? Where are they coming from? <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· // (MENTOR phases on stage) // <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Mentor****:** Excellent job. <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Elaine:** But I didn’t do anything. <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Mentor****:** I was speaking to the busses. The red and blue busses of Bartholomew – what an honor it is to see them again. <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Elaine:** You’ve met them before? They’re //alive//? <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Mentor****:** Well of course they’re alive. But we’ll save their story for the last part of the trilogy. <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· // (VAMPIRA, ELAINE, and MINNIE twitch in horror, even though two are dead.) // <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Elaine:** But I thought it was my destiny to keep her from flooding the world? Aren’t I the young warrior? And when did you get here? <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Mentor****:** I’ve been here the entire time. And I said it was prophesized, not destined. <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Elaine:** There’s a difference? <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Mentor****:** Of course. Prophecies are unreliable, just as this one was. <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Elaine:** You’re… kidding, right? //(Eye twitch)// But you said – you said that – I trained my butt off! I burned your junk mail, I blew the highway litter to Timbuktu, I mopped the grocery store floors without a mop – twice! And now I don’t even have someone to fight? What was the point? <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Mentor****:** I don’t know. I didn’t make you do it. <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· // (ELAINE opens her mouth to say something, but instead shuts it and storms off stage, muttering incoherently) // <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Mentor****:** //(Shaking his head)// Teenaged warriors. Always so unintelligible. //(Turns to audience and bows. VAMPIRA stands up)// The play isn’t over yet. <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Vampira:** Well what else do we have to do? <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Mentor****:** I have to announce the play is over. <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· // (VAMPIRA lays back down. MENTOR bows once more) // <span style="font-family: Symbol; mso-bidi-font-family: Symbol; mso-fareast-font-family: Symbol; msobidifontfamily: Symbol; msofareastfontfamily: Symbol; msolist: Ignore;">· **Mentor****:** Annnd… The End!