Project Proposal with Rubric out of 100 points:
I will be writing poems from the perspective of people of all different ages and genders. Ages ranging from about 8 all the way to 80?
I'll be adding my own photos and/or drawings with them. Maybe i'll bind them into a book but I'm not sure yet.
I'd grade myself on flow, content and relation of the photo and poem.
Perspectives: child, college-age, middle-age, elderly
Drawings/photos: I'll try to upload them onto here but I probrably won't be able to
Due at the End of Class on 4/22:
Figure out what kind of poems I want to write. Decide if I will base them off of published poems.
Due at the End of Class on 4/23:
First poem (mid thirties) def not finished, this is a very rough draft:
I have been starving
for quite sometime now.
I wait.
I wait for her as she goes back and forth from one dress to another.
I wait for her as she “puts her face on”.
I wait for her as she leaves dinner to take calls.
I am
sick of
this waiting.
I can’t stand, “One more minute, Peter.”
I can’t stand, “Which one, Peter?”
I can’t stand, “Honey I have to take this.”
I can’t take this.
Before
when I first met her she told me
that people called her a fool
in love; because
why would a rich girl
like her marry an
ordinary guy like me?
Now
that I know her
I realize that
I am the fool.
I return to reality.
I watch your mouth,
your lips.
I finish my food.
You finish
the call.
I take a deep breath.
You smile and take a bite of your steak.
Oh how much I hate steak.
I push away from the
table and stand up.
“What’s wrong?” you ask alarmed.
Nothing, nothing.
“Everything.”
You place your hand on my arm and
lead me back to the table.
“What’s wrong?” you ask again.
“I’m so full Mary”, I say, “I’m just so full.”
Comments:
David Kang -teh c0mm3ntz )v(@zT@-
Is this from "Freedom Writers"? it feels like it is. I can understand Peter's point of view (which is given a shallow pool's clarity through your words) but I can't sympathize with him. A man should be able to stand behind his wife (Innuendo not implied) and be happy for her. Marridge is made to be strong, and the strongest of metals are not as hard, they are malleable. Purity is weak, polymer is strong. Philosophical yes, true, I think so.
- Wow, now that you mentioned it this does kinda go with the Freedom Writers! I didn't mean to base it off of that though- Jocelyn
-intresting. very emotional on the part of both people. i like the contrast and the fact that both are tired of the othre, but they dont tell the other. it is actualy pretty realistic in many ways. it would be nicer to have a gap between the two people's thoughts. -Paul
-What I really enjoy is that you get the mentality of the age group down pat. I think you make it so that the particular voice of the character really shines through. The innocence of childhood, the coming-to-terms with reality with a college student, and the sort of sad resignation of old age. I really like these poems. <3 -Hannah Due at the End of Class on 4/24:
Second poem (college-age), VERY rough : There was a time
when the most important thing in the world
was whether or not you got picked first
on the kickball team.
How does time slip away so fast?
Hindsight is 20/20
Where did
the time
go?
I
think
back to when
I knew who I wanted to be.
I knew I wanted to help animals.
I knew I wanted to help children.
I knew who I was.
Or so
I thought.
So
what now?
I peer into the mirror
waiting for euphoria, a sign, a miracle.
How did everything become so evil? When did this
all happen and why was I oblivious?
There was a time
when the most important thing in the world
was whether or not I had the prettiest Barbie.
So now what? Where
did all the time go?
Due at the End of Class on 4/27:
Third poem (child): Rover is my best friend.
He is big and brown and smells real bad.
I love him because he is all mine.
Last month Rover wasn’t feeling well.
He didn’t want to play
and he didn’t want to eat.
Mama and Daddy took him away
for a little while.
I was sad.
Daddy told me that Rover might not come home.
I asked him why.
He told me it was because he had lived long enough.
I asked him how he knew
that Rover used up all his life.
He said that one day everything will go away and never return.
I asked him if that would happen to Mama and him.
He nodded.
I went to my room and brought the picture of Rover to Daddy.
I’m sorry if you feel sad.
Mommy and I feel sad too, said Daddy.
I gave the picture to Daddy.
Rover is still my best friend, I told him.
I know, he said.
Comments: via David Kang comment incorporation enterprises.
David Kang -teh c0mm3ntz )v(@st@z-
The poem about the elderly hurt. It hurt so much to read. It hurt so much to read inside my head, so by the fifth word I was reading it aloud. Problem is, it hurt when I said it aloud too, but this time, it hurt very, very good. -Don't read too far into my words, they're impromptu and not worth the analysis-
Due at the End of Class on 4/28:
Fourth poem (elderly):
My smile was stolen
that night at 7pm and
never returned to me since then.
My mind has been dusty and
smothered with cobwebs.
Your perfume is starting to fade
from the house.
I’ve been sitting here, in this chair,
for hours—I think.
I did not cry when they lowered you into the ground.
I did not attend your viewing;
pity never suited me and you know that.
The lawn is overgrown and resembles
the faint tangled, twisted pain in my legs.
I take these pills
like candy and
ignore the doctor’s orders.
I don’t feel anything anymore.
The kids came to visit
yesterday and all I did
was sit here, in this chair.
I stared at the sun moving across the sky but
I wasn’t really watching.
Is it us that moves or is it our surroundings?
Nothing has been right
since you left me. You had this way
of making me feel so
young and carefree.
Every kind of feeling has slipped from my grasp.
And so have you.
Due at the End of Class on 4/29:
Revise poems, think of photos to incorporate
Due at the End of Class on 4/30:
Print poems and photos/draw stuff
(4/29: I uploaded 2 photos I took that don't really go with the poems but we need some sort of visual element.)
Presentations/Celebration will occur on Friday, May 1.
Project Proposal with Rubric out of 100 points:
I will be writing poems from the perspective of people of all different ages and genders. Ages ranging from about 8 all the way to 80?
I'll be adding my own photos and/or drawings with them. Maybe i'll bind them into a book but I'm not sure yet.
I'd grade myself on flow, content and relation of the photo and poem.
Perspectives: child, college-age, middle-age, elderly
Drawings/photos: I'll try to upload them onto here but I probrably won't be able to
Due at the End of Class on 4/22:
Figure out what kind of poems I want to write. Decide if I will base them off of published poems.
Due at the End of Class on 4/23:
First poem (mid thirties) def not finished, this is a very rough draft:
I have been starving
for quite sometime now.
I wait.
I wait for her as she goes back and forth from one dress to another.
I wait for her as she “puts her face on”.
I wait for her as she leaves dinner to take calls.
I am
sick of
this waiting.
I can’t stand, “One more minute, Peter.”
I can’t stand, “Which one, Peter?”
I can’t stand, “Honey I have to take this.”
I can’t take this.
Before
when I first met her she told me
that people called her a fool
in love; because
why would a rich girl
like her marry an
ordinary guy like me?
Now
that I know her
I realize that
I am the fool.
I return to reality.
I watch your mouth,
your lips.
I finish my food.
You finish
the call.
I take a deep breath.
You smile and take a bite of your steak.
Oh how much I hate steak.
I push away from the
table and stand up.
“What’s wrong?” you ask alarmed.
Nothing, nothing.
“Everything.”
You place your hand on my arm and
lead me back to the table.
“What’s wrong?” you ask again.
“I’m so full Mary”, I say, “I’m just so full.”
Comments:
David Kang -teh c0mm3ntz )v(@zT@-
Is this from "Freedom Writers"? it feels like it is. I can understand Peter's point of view (which is given a shallow pool's clarity through your words) but I can't sympathize with him. A man should be able to stand behind his wife (Innuendo not implied) and be happy for her. Marridge is made to be strong, and the strongest of metals are not as hard, they are malleable. Purity is weak, polymer is strong. Philosophical yes, true, I think so.
- Wow, now that you mentioned it this does kinda go with the Freedom Writers! I didn't mean to base it off of that though- Jocelyn
-intresting. very emotional on the part of both people. i like the contrast and the fact that both are tired of the othre, but they dont tell the other. it is actualy pretty realistic in many ways. it would be nicer to have a gap between the two people's thoughts. -Paul
-What I really enjoy is that you get the mentality of the age group down pat. I think you make it so that the particular voice of the character really shines through. The innocence of childhood, the coming-to-terms with reality with a college student, and the sort of sad resignation of old age. I really like these poems. <3 -Hannah
Due at the End of Class on 4/24:
Second poem (college-age), VERY rough :
There was a time
when the most important thing in the world
was whether or not you got picked first
on the kickball team.
How does time slip away so fast?
Hindsight is 20/20
Where did
the time
go?
I
think
back to when
I knew who I wanted to be.
I knew I wanted to help animals.
I knew I wanted to help children.
I knew who I was.
Or so
I thought.
So
what now?
I peer into the mirror
waiting for euphoria, a sign, a miracle.
How did everything become so evil? When did this
all happen and why was I oblivious?
There was a time
when the most important thing in the world
was whether or not I had the prettiest Barbie.
So now what? Where
did all the time go?
Due at the End of Class on 4/27:
Third poem (child):
Rover is my best friend.
He is big and brown and smells real bad.
I love him because he is all mine.
Last month Rover wasn’t feeling well.
He didn’t want to play
and he didn’t want to eat.
Mama and Daddy took him away
for a little while.
I was sad.
Daddy told me that Rover might not come home.
I asked him why.
He told me it was because he had lived long enough.
I asked him how he knew
that Rover used up all his life.
He said that one day everything will go away and never return.
I asked him if that would happen to Mama and him.
He nodded.
I went to my room and brought the picture of Rover to Daddy.
I’m sorry if you feel sad.
Mommy and I feel sad too, said Daddy.
I gave the picture to Daddy.
Rover is still my best friend, I told him.
I know, he said.
Comments: via David Kang comment incorporation enterprises.
David Kang -teh c0mm3ntz )v(@st@z-
The poem about the elderly hurt. It hurt so much to read. It hurt so much to read inside my head, so by the fifth word I was reading it aloud. Problem is, it hurt when I said it aloud too, but this time, it hurt very, very good. -Don't read too far into my words, they're impromptu and not worth the analysis-
Due at the End of Class on 4/28:
Fourth poem (elderly):
My smile was stolen
that night at 7pm and
never returned to me since then.
My mind has been dusty and
smothered with cobwebs.
Your perfume is starting to fade
from the house.
I’ve been sitting here, in this chair,
for hours—I think.
I did not cry when they lowered you into the ground.
I did not attend your viewing;
pity never suited me and you know that.
The lawn is overgrown and resembles
the faint tangled, twisted pain in my legs.
I take these pills
like candy and
ignore the doctor’s orders.
I don’t feel anything anymore.
The kids came to visit
yesterday and all I did
was sit here, in this chair.
I stared at the sun moving across the sky but
I wasn’t really watching.
Is it us that moves or is it our surroundings?
Nothing has been right
since you left me. You had this way
of making me feel so
young and carefree.
Every kind of feeling has slipped from my grasp.
And so have you.
Due at the End of Class on 4/29:
Revise poems, think of photos to incorporate
Due at the End of Class on 4/30:
Print poems and photos/draw stuff
(4/29: I uploaded 2 photos I took that don't really go with the poems but we need some sort of visual element.)
Presentations/Celebration will occur on Friday, May 1.
Final Comments/Self-Evaluation: